Why am I putting this poem in a box to begin with? It's a good poem, I should share it with others, not try to hide it. This poem is so perfect I’ll probably get an award. Actually this poem is so amazing that I can’t share it with other people and because there could be imitators that might want to copy its beauty. This poem is on such a grand scale that it is always changing and expanding and it can’t be contained in a mere box like other poems. But what if the very thing that makes it so unique is also a curse? What if its limitless potential sparks debate all around the world causing nothing to get done? People begin to lose sleep and start skipping meals all because of a poem that I came up with during a warm shower. Oh no, I can already feel myself getting lost in the poem! I’ll just cut the poem in half… and now I’m stuck with two amazing ever-expanding poems. The only solution now is to get rid of it. Maybe I could mail it off to a desert in Amazon and all I will need is a box…
Interesting stream-of-consciousness approach. I like the way that it ultimately wends its way back around to boxes, but I'd like to see you do more with the shower idea. Would a poem rather take a nice long shower than get stuck in a box? What happens to a poem when it takes a hot shower? What happens to a poem when it spends time cooped up in a box? Is a shower an antidote to poem-in-a-box syndrome?
ReplyDeleteNot to disagree with Ms. Majerus, but I like how you aren't really thinking that the poem itself should take a shower and are just kinda rambling on about the different possible ideas of what to do with the poem. For one, the shower rambling thoughts is very realistic (I do this all the time). Also, it shows how powerful shower thoughts can be since you came up with this perfect, amazing (and surely powerful) poem in the shower, and now you're in the shower again trying to think of what to do with it. It kinda comes full circle in that way.
ReplyDeleteThis is a cool post. Is it considered a poem, itself? If not at this point, it could be condensed and spaced into a more proper format (but maybe that contradicts your point entirely). What I can say for sure is that the line at the end makes for a great end to a poem. Obviously you worked up to that line for a while, and I think that flow is crucial to a successful poem.
ReplyDeleteI love this unique approach to the problem! You gave us how you were thinking through the problem instead of the answer you came up with in the end, which I think is a really good way to get the reader to think about their own answer to the problem. I really liked your line of how when you split a poem, you still have too much poem (if there is such a thing). It made me think that poems are infinite, which I thought was a good point.
ReplyDeleteI love this stream of consciousness. Very representative of actual shower thoughts! And also fits well with the ambiguity of the prompt.
ReplyDeleteI actually do this in the shower. I like how you try to contain the expanding poem by enclosing it in a box and shipping it away. I also like how you displayed your thought process before you "shipped" it away. Writing your thought process, like you did in this post, connected to me and actually made me think of the problems you go through as well.
ReplyDeletedude you should fasho do a collab w Yeezy; his Twitter is this poem. I like how you used details eg. "desert in the Amazon", that you addressed uncertainty/recorded thoughts as they would occur, and that throughout there was a theme of intimacy. I think all of those things make it honest and °relatable°. Nice work!
ReplyDeletedude you should fasho do a collab w Yeezy; his Twitter is this poem. I like how you used details eg. "desert in the Amazon", that you addressed uncertainty/recorded thoughts as they would occur, and that throughout there was a theme of intimacy. I think all of those things make it honest and °relatable°. Nice work!
ReplyDelete